Notgonnahappen.

So a few weeks ago I heard that Over the Rhine would be playing in Rhode Island later this summer. After doing a bit of e-searching, I found out that they were participating in the Newport Folk Festival on August 3rd. Here is the entire list of performers for that very same day:

Sunday, August 3
Doors: 10:00 AM
Show: 11:30 AM to 7:00 PM

Jimmy Buffett
Levon Helm
Gillian Welch
The Avett Brothers
Calexico
Brandi Carlile
Son Volt
Kaki King
Over The Rhine
Jake Shimabukuro
Kate Taylor
Richard Julian
One Flew South

Adult: $89.00 / Child (2 to 12 yrs of age): $15.00 Buy Now!

*******************

And I'm thinking exactly what you're thinking (unless you're Paste Magazine): Crap on a stick. Why should I pay 89 bucks to see OtR and the Avetts and Gillian Welch?

So I sent them this kind email:

From: Jonathan Rice
Sent: Tuesday, May 06, 2008 6:45 PM
To: Info FestivalNetwork
Subject: Over the Rhine > Jimmy Buffett even on their worst day.

Dear Miss Info,

I know this is a ridiculous request, but is there any way of purchasing tickets for Sunday, August 3rd at a reduced price if I promise promise promise to leave before Jimmy Buffett? All I really want to see are Over the Rhine and the Avetts, and since OtR never tour this far east, I haven't had the chance to see them perform since I moved to Vermont two years ago. I would be forever and ever in your debt and would bake you cookies or write you love letters or both. $89 is alot to spend when one works for a non-profit and one will leave early because one has no interest in ever seeing Jimmy Buffett perform live. Ever.

BTW, Jimmy Buffett? Really?!

Huh.


Most sincerely and completely truly yours,

Jonny Rice

*****************

Honestly, I didn't really expect a response. But three days ago:


On Wed, May 28, 2008 at 3:56 PM, Festival Network - Box Office wrote:

Mr. Rice,

Unfortunately we are unable to grant discounted tickets for leaving early at the Newport Folk Festival. I am sorry that this is an inconvenience, but due to corporate policy and system inability we cannot. We also have no ability to verify that one has left with no return and as much as we take one for a honest patron, we are unable to grant your request.

Sorry again for the inability to discount the tickets.

Sincerely,

Festival Box Office.

The Festival Network, LLC

30 Irving Place

6^th Floor

New York, NY 10003

Office: 646.652.3965

Fax: 212.533.7293

E.mail: Boxoffice@festivalnetwork.com

Web: www.festivalnetwork.com

This message is the property of The Festival Network, LLC or its affiliates. It may be legally privileged and / or confidential and is intended only for the use of the addressee(s). No addressee should forward, print, copy, or otherwise reproduce this message in any manner that would allow it to be viewed by any individual not originally listed as a recipient. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any unauthorized disclosure, dissemination, distribution, copying or the taking of any action in reliance on the information herein is strictly prohibited. If you have received this communication in error, please immediately notify the sender and delete this message.

**********************

This was very polite of them, I think.

Also, did I just break the law?

Best. YouTube Video. Ever.

Sooooooo much better than Beverly Hills.

Theme Park

If I ever create a theme park, I think it will be Dunkin' Donuts themed.

Champions! ~ Neko vs. flops

I've decided that the only thing blogging is good for is that it gives me the unique mass-mediated ability to compare things that I like and then decide which is better or gooder or more important for life and joy and survival. It's like having my own personal edition of BM, that quarterly journal that Paco always talked about starting. Only this will be published far more often than quarterly. Not daily, though. Who has time for that?

My first engagement? Neko Case vs. flip-flops.


In this corner, Neko Case.


And in this corner, flip-flops.

I like flip-flops. I'm wearing them now. And it's, like, 41 degrees out. I also like Neko Case. I'm listening to her right now. And she never gets old. She is, like, perpetually 27 years old. Just like me. A good age for all eternity. Yep, that 27 is a mighty fine (prime) number.

27-years-old for life wins. Flip-flops are neat-o, but I could go barefoot, I guess.

Today's champion: Neko Case. With a cool bird.