Good Job at Failing, Gigantic Crumbling Music Biz

OK Go have a new single-take video that's sure to tear up the internets. Except their record label doesn't understand how to do this, and they've disabled embedded video for blogs and sites and whatnot. It's amazing that people with degrees in marketing and PR have no idea how Web 2.0 works, or how to use it as a promotional tool. The record industry will be dead in ten years. Tops.

...Oh, and the lists still exist. Just somewhere not called this blog.

Red Pill Blue Pill

 I can't play fantasy football anymore, even though it's the only part about football that I still like. Dan Hopper explains why:

As of Monday night, I was trailing my game by two points going into the Monday Night Football game between Houston and Tennessee, and I still had Houston receiver Andre Johnson yet to play, but my opponent had Matt Schaub, Houston’s quarterback, who’d be throwing the ball to Johnson and essentially canceling out his points.

But, rather than assume I was going to lose, ignore a boring NFL game that had no impact on the standings, and spend my night usefully by reading a book or planting a tree or whatever valuable people who don’t play fantasy football do, I sat on the couch watching the Texans play the Titans and rooted for Andre Johnson to catch a touchdown but for Matt Schaub to also throw two interceptions afterward to drag his points back below Johnson’s. This is not an actual thing anyone does.

Fortunately I was joined on the couch by my roommate, who had absolutely no stake in the game other than needing Tennessee’s Rob Bironas to kick ONE field goal so he could win his fantasy game for the week. So basically, the two of us — a Steeler fan and a Giants fan — watched a regular season Texans/Titans Monday Night game with me shouting at the tv hoping for Matt Schaub interceptions or for the running back to throw a touchdown pass to Andre Johnson (but only Andre Johnson), and my roommate rooting for the Titans until they got to the opposing 30 and then rooting against them.

Could the inventors of Football — John J. Football III and his cohorts — have possibly foreseen something so specifically pathetic ever deriving from their innocent pastime? If so, they were terrible people.

I wish the Dan Hopper I knew back at summer camp had written this. Sadly, no. It's the Dan Hopper from Best Week Ever.tv. Sometimes, though, I pretend they're the same person.

On why newspapers need to keep copy editors on the payroll

 From the desk of Mike Lupicia:

The Yankees had won the World Series again, and they all came running for Mo Rivera and this was all the Yankee Stadium night you could ask for now. Any Stadium. Rivera had gotten the last out of another Series, and now players from one of the great Yankee teams, which is exactly what this one became in the end, seemed to come running from everywhere, maybe even from across the street, on the night when the Yankees were finally back to being the Yankees again.

I've read this paragraph five or six times now, and I still have no idea what it means. It's in English, right? I think those are words. I'm sure those are words. I see nouns and verbs and even punctuation. But what does it mean?

And the kicker? Mike Lupicia is not a blogger. Mike Lupicia is a sports journalist. Good luck with that, newspaper industry.

This. Is. Real.

I don't have cable. I don't have DirecTV, either. While Comcast is 97% evil, DirecTV always seemed like a sesnible alternative, and their commercials were kind of funny.

Then they got creepy.

One thing to remember, in those shots of David Spade where he's talking about DirecTV with Chris Farley's back in the foreground, that is a body double playing Chris Farley. Someone else's body is in that shot. In other words, David Spade shot his lines with a fake version of his old chum "acting" in front of him. A fake Chris Farley. While David Spade is talking. And getting paid to rave about DirecTV. With his dead friend. Or a body double of his dead friend. A friend who is dead. Paycheck words with dead friend body double. Fat guy who is not Chris Farley. Because he is dead. Paycheck David. High five.

New Weezer, Same Old Problems

Stereogum has a new track from Weezer online for your streaming pleasure, featuring none other than Lil Wayne himself. Honestly, his verse is the best part of the track. The rest makes me want to kick a bunny. Not a cute one. But a bunny none-the-less.

p.s. That's the closest I can get to Weezy meets Weezer. Whoopi Goldberg with that dancing guy from all the dancing movies. Cause Rivers dances...right?

blog fail

Yes, I fail at September. I fail at consistency, too. I guess Joe Morgan will never sing my praises. Rats.