I am a...

I feel like this was a popular meme a year or two ago, but just for a laugh this morning, I googled the phrase "Jonny is a" just to see what came up. Basically, I'm awesome. And every day you wake up wishing you were me.

Anyways, here are some other things I am:

Jonny is a lemon and is crazy's.
Jonny is a Retard!
Jonny Is A Hoax?
DAMMMNN, that jonny is a god. He wakes up in the morning and pisses excellence. (Lots of other definitions at Urban Dictionary)
Jonny is a wonderful character.
Jonny is a passionate fan of the Atlanta Braves.
Jonny is a manufactured jinker.
Jonny is a tall, lanky, long haired-hippie who struts around bellbottomed and barefoot.
Jonny is a top Scottish and UK junior player of great potential.
Jonny is a cool little dude with his Hindu friend and little dog.
Jonny is a carbon-copy of Steve.
Jonny is a class act and always will be.
Jonny is a gifted word picture writer.
Jonny is a nice fellow.
Jonny is a saint.
Jonny is a hater like his mother who is a fat lard and a slure.
Jonny is a professional percussionist. He created a band called Junkyard Symphony.
Jonny is a guest artist on Steven Curtis Chapman's new CD "All Things New."
Jonny is a Snablesnot Male Stalker who has made AIN his home, and intends to stay!
Jonny is a stickler for detail, both on properties and with his equipment.
Jonny is a bright, impressive younger leader in the UK church who is connected with the Church of England.
Jonny is a mysterious figure who once mined the earth for fuel, and now spends all his waking hours scouring the net for brilliant broadband.
jonny is a fan of: 7 people.
Jonny is a friendly 1-year-old German shepherd.
JONNY IS A YOUNG BOY ADVENTURER.
Jonny is a busy DJ, hired for interesting fashion and art evenings.
Jonny is a laid back slob basically, who doesn't want to work at all unless it is possibly working with biscuits.
Jonny is a 4.5-metre great white shark.
Jonny is a hero of mine.
My mate Jonny is a looker / His habit is a one night stand / He used to walk the streets in the usual way / Oh what a pretty man
Jonny is a compulsive liar, he has been all his life.
Jonny is a bloke, and he's very accessible for Western audiences.
Jonny is a well developed 14 yr old lad he has an incredible pain thresh-hold and plays the game more committed than most.
Jonny is a hot tip to replace the Queen, given that her knee problems seem likely to make it impossible for her to continue long to reign over us.
Jonny is a bit of a whitebread bore himself.
Jonny is a director of the Belgravia Centre and although not a trichologist, has spent much of his time over the past 6 years studying hair loss and scalp problems.
Jonny is a very experienced and capable sailor.
Jonny is a sensitive soul with a nice haircut, he attracts the beautiful and oh, so innocent Toffee (Candice Nicole) to his letterman jacket.
Jonny is a shy person who doesn't enjoy interviews because he feels he comes across as an idiot.
Jonny is a very keen sport climber, spending his evenings off down the crag whenever possible.
Jonny is a very likable everyman, neither too dumb nor overweeningly brilliant.
Jonny is a dealer of fertilizer, hay net wrap, baler twine, plastic, and minerals.
Jonny is a Hollyoaks and Horrid Henry fan and his favourite musical, apart from Oliver, is Wicked.
Jonny is a fly boy, mad boy, bad boy.
Jonny is a busy man and I personally don't know how he fits it all in.

And that's just in the first ten pages of hits!

Additionally, I spoke at the Intermediate School morning assembly today, and I killed. I'm like freaking Demetri Martin or something.

NSFW!